


desperation crawling up my veins

by zukoandtheoc



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Don't copy to another site, Dubcon Cuddling, Event: Escape from the House of Lamentation!, Fluff, Gender Neutral MC - Freeform, Hugging, Love Confessions, Lowercase, Other, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Smut adjacent, but like. things get a lil bit suggestive, eyes emoji, gender neutral reader, honestly this turned out a lot softer than i expected, i have feelings about mammon, mammon being a tsundere, mc being insecure, no actual smut, reader is mc, sequel hook, the bit where you have to hug mammon for an hour, tiny amounts of angst, what are tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:28:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26883685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zukoandtheoc/pseuds/zukoandtheoc
Summary: hug each other for an hour. that's the rule of this game....it's gonna be a long hour.
Relationships: Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 273





	desperation crawling up my veins

**Author's Note:**

> the idea of hugging mammon for one (1) hour made me feel things so i dumped that into a pot with my feelings about mammon being a tsundere and mc being insecure, stirred, and this is the result
> 
> Title from [Say Something](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8MXbEGrQ4Y) by Anna Blue & Damien Dawn

"no matter what," mammon says, "you can't let go of me, okay?" 

"i know," you say, resting your chin on his shoulder. 

hug each other for one hour. that was what gm (you're pretty sure he's just barbatos) told you was the rule of this game. if you fail…

you won't lose. you _can't_ lose.

it's not a good situation. you hate that you're being forced to play this so-called game. you hate not having a choice. most of all, you hate the thought that any of your boys might be in danger if you fail.

but having an excuse to spend time with mammon… you don't mind that part at all.

you wiggle a little in mammon's arms, trying to find a more comfortable position while still maintaining the hug. the two of you are sitting side by side on the couch, thighs pressed together, upper bodies turned inward, arms wrapped around each other. it's fine, even nice for the short term, but if you stay in this position long enough it's gonna get uncomfortable. 

mammon's grip tightens around you briefly, just enough to be reassuring, not painful. "you alright?" he asks.

"mm," you hum softly, a tentative affirmation. "my back's starting to get a little sore," you offer.

"yeah," mammon says, "it's probably not good for us to stay still like this the whole hour. but as long as we have our arms around each other, it's still a hug, right? we can move around a bit to stay comfortable. c'mere."

after a long moment of careful rearrangement of bodies and limbs, you find yourself straddling mammon's lap.

"is this better?" mammon asks, somewhat breathlessly.

well. it's less strain on your back, at least. "yeah," you manage.

his hands settle somewhere near your waist. he's tall enough that you can still comfortably rest your head on his shoulder. you're hyperaware of just how fast your heart is beating. you close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, trying your best to relax.

mammon buries his face into the side of your neck. "this is torture," he mumbles into your shirt. "he's torturin' me. what did i do to deserve this, huh??"

your heart drops into your stomach. 

you think you know how mammon feels about you. you're as certain as you can be without him outright telling you. you've mostly learned to ignore his token protests of indifference. they still sting, sometimes, but you know - you have to believe - he doesn't mean them.

but sometimes. sometimes you doubt yourself.

you don't quite pull away from him, but it's a near thing. "do you really hate this so much?" you ask, your voice barely audible.

"hey, wait, no." there's an edge of panic in his voice. fingers dig into your back, as if to keep you from leaving (as if you ever could). "that's not… you know i didn't mean it like that."

"do i know that?" you whisper. "why don't you ever say what you mean, mammon? do you know how it feels for me, having to guess all the time?"

"oh, darlin'." he presses you closer to him, running his hand soothingly up and down your spine. 

for a while, there is quiet. you match your breathing to mammon's, focusing on the feel of his chest rising and falling rhythmically beneath you. his hair brushes against your cheek.

"i'm scared," mammon admits softly. 

"me, too," you say.

"what were your other games like?" he asks. 

you're not entirely sure why he wants to know, but you answer anyway, explaining the first six challenges with each of his brothers.

"oh," he says when you're done. "it's not a torture, it's a _test_."

"what do you mean?" 

"doncha get it?" he huffs. "all'a these games, they're designed specifically for us, to test each of us. to test our _sins_."

you frown. "i don't think i understand."

"alright, i'll spell it out for ya. lucifer's the avatar of pride, right? havin' to do something so undignified as cling to you while the walls closed in, he must'a been embarrassed. if it were anyone but you, i bet he'd'a left them behind. and beel, of course, had to stop himself from scarfin' down the food the second he saw it."

you're starting to see where he's going with this, sort of. "belphie said the game seemed like too much effort."

"now you're catchin' on!" mammon sounds proud. "as for satan, there's almost nothin' more precious to him than his books. imagine how mad he would'a gotten if you'd dropped one, or if the stack fell over. and asmo…" he pauses. "y'know what, i don't even wanna think about that. but levi, he's ripped controllers out of my hands before, and we weren't even sharin'! plus, he hates co-op games, competition's more his style."

"okay," you say. "but what about this game? what does a hug have to do with testing your greed?" 

"well, uh." he coughs nervously.

you'd never hear the end of it if you told him this, but you think mammon's cute when he gets flustered. you're hit with the sudden desire to see his face, so you shift your weight a bit, just enough so you can lean your forehead against his.

mammon makes a strangled noise, and _oh_.

you're still sitting in his lap.

mammon's face is very red. you are very sure you know the basic gist of what he's about to say. 

still. he looks you in the eyes and says it anyway. "bein' this close to you for this long… i want to do so much more than just hug you."

you make a strangled noise of your own, and hide your face in his shoulder.

he inhales sharply. you take deep, measured breaths, the familiar scent of his favorite perfume filling your nose. you can tell he's doing his best to keep very still. you can also tell that he's trembling from the effort of holding himself back. 

you are playing a very dangerous game, indeed. 

still, there's something you have to know. you have to hear it from him.

"do you- are you-" your mouth is suddenly very dry. you swallow past the lump in your throat and try again. "are your, ah, feelings for me… just sexual?" 

mammon lets out a low chuckle, his breath tickling your ear. "darlin', you're gorgeous as here and i am incredibly attracted to you," he says. 

"yeah, i noticed," you observe dryly, drawing another laugh from him. you enjoy how you can feel it rumbling through his chest. 

"but after all this time," he continues, his voice aching in its tenderness, "after everythin' you and i have been through together, do ya really not know how i feel about ya?" he pauses, clears his throat. "how head-over-heels in love with you i am?"

and there it is.

_finally._

you giggle in relief, clinging to him just a bit tighter. he exhales, and you swear you can hear his smile.

"i said it," he says, sounding simultaneously relieved and horrified. "i mean, i actually said it. and - and i'm not takin' it back this time, okay?!"

"okay," you agree, overwhelmed with fondness. you think you might cry.

"okay," he says. "good. i - yeah. good."

he's still tense against you. it takes you a moment to realize why. he's confirmed his feelings for you, but you haven't said anything about yours. 

"hey," you say, leaning the side of your head against his shoulder. "look at me." 

he cranes his neck to meet your eyes. "huh?" 

"i came back for you, you know," you tell him.

his eyes go soft. you're momentarily transfixed by how they seem to shimmer gold underneath the blue. "you did, didn't you?" 

"of course i did," you say. "i love you."

and, well. what is he supposed to do in response to that but kiss you?

you're fairly sure you're pushing the boundaries of what qualifies as a hug, here. but for the moment it's a little hard for you to think about anything except for mammon's hands on your hips -

\- your hands in his hair -

\- his lips on yours -

\- his body moving under you -

much to your surprise, it's mammon who pulls away first.

"we can't," he says, voice strained. "not now."

"right." you gasp, trying to catch your breath. "maybe - ah - maybe i should get out of your lap, then."

"probably a good idea," he agrees, equally breathless.

the two of you resettle into a less suggestive position, just holding each other. for a few moments you just breathe, waiting for your heart rate - among other things - to calm down.

admittedly, you're disappointed. but you know it's not the time to get caught up in the heat of the moment.

"gm could be watchin' us," mammon says.

"that's creepy of him."

mammon grins at you. "i know, right? what a weirdo." the grin fades, then, replaced by a worried look. "but if he sees us… doing something that he decides is breakin' the rules of his game…"

you nod. "we can't risk that."

mammon leans against you, and you hold him a little tighter. "i'd never forgive myself if you failed 'cause of me," he whispers. "i don't… i can't lose ya."

you press a kiss to his hair. "we'll get through this," you promise. "all of us together."

"right," he says. "yeah. 'course we will. we always do." he holds onto you like you'll disappear if he ever lets go.

you sigh, relaxing into his embrace. god, you love him so much.

"after this is all over…" you trail off, letting unspoken words hang in the air.

mammon takes a shuddering breath. "after this is all over," he says, and it's a promise.

it's gonna be a long hour.


End file.
